taking an aside......sometimes i wish i travelled more before committing. regrets......i wish i had done the EAP program when i was in college. being able to travel the world and study at the same time. who could ask for a better opportunity. now i have a stable job which means i can't take off when i want to. even though i do go on vacations it is not the same. this past summer i was at japan and the philippines. it was nice, but not the same as exploring by yourself. travelling can get tiresome, but i need to realize that for myself.

last sunday, i experienced food poisioning. it was horrible. right now, i am feeling it again. what is it with me and getting poisioned on sunday night. i hope it passes cause .... well....it just ain't pleasant.

i am borrowing my sister's labtop. it is quite nice having one, i might actually get one. but i still feel like it isn't justified. cause it is so expensive and kinda a hassle yet ultra savvy. i was thinking..... i have money.....should i use it? invest it? do both? i am a very thirfty person....but if i work so hard to earn this money....i should be able to enjoy it. but i know that i should also plan for the future. i try to save 1000 dollars a month. i think i am quite successful at it. i need a new goal to keep me motivated.

for christmas, i would like an ipod and a gbook. i think that will have to wait though. cause i really have to evaluate whether it is justified. any comments?

i still need to get my mom and sister a gift. i usually don't do presents, but this year i am feeling generous. anyways, what better way to spend my money than on the people that care about me, and vice versa. christmas....the holiday nice....it's nice....

gosh, i think i am going to up-chuck....not good at all. i better drink some tea or something. holiday party is coming up at work. i may go, i may not, haven't decided yet. i am kinda lazy, but i really should go. i will see though. i may be busy.

lately, i find myself becoming more religious. today at church, the pastor had a really good sermon. i think i will go to church there from now on. i went there before, but this time it was more of an awakening. lately, i find myself being more in tune with my religious side. i was raised catholic and before i was more nonchalant about it, but not so much lately.

i wish i was more motivated. i wish i was smarter. i wish i had a greater will. in high school, i was that way. but then i became extremely exhausted. now i am still, but i am just waiting for my chance to be motivated once again. in our life, we search for happiness. we seek fortune. we seek to be loved. why is that? are we born like this? are we nurtured to seek attention?

looking back at my experiences, i've learned enough to write a book about..... i would like to write one someday. maybe i'll begin tomorrow. but it will be pretty challenging because i am so random. i just from multiple thoughts. sometimes it is hard for my own boyfriend to keep up. i have this theory about relationship come and gone but i'll tell that another time.