here's my twin. others would say "her split personality." 

friday night. let me tell you how i am spending it. i am on 3 computers. two labtops and one desktop. i am feeling quite tired and sick so i opted not to go out. they guys went out to auburgines but i was growing tired of that place. also cause i didn't want to pay a cover. plus the fact that i think i am about to vomit in the near future. aside from that, i am tiring to hold it all down.

a stress has been lifted off my shoulders so now i just wait. this week has been pretty crazy. today at work, it was pretty stressful. i am kinda sad that i have to be in sd on monday, yet i am also kinda glad. the picture about it a perfect representation of how i feel most of the time. like i am two different people. as if my inner self is having a battle as who should be the ultimate representation of sheila. emotions, i feel so many all at the same time. it is hard to control or choose what to feel. feel to feel? anyways, i am going to move on because i am begining to confuse myself.

this weekend there is a holiday party. i may not attend, though it would be nice. however, i am feeling ill. i think i need to take off these contacts or something. i was thinking, now that i work 1st shift, my life is so much more different. i am tired all the time. when i use to work nights, i was more active. now all i want to do is sleep.

i still have so much to do. go see the dentist, the doctor. it is so impossible though cause i am here in sd. i guess i could go to one here. i just may. i can't wait, next week, only 4 days. i have so many things going on in my life right now that i am just so exhausted. i don't want to think about it. i need an escape of some sort. maybe i should go out more. i dunno. being away from home, i am not able to do a lot of things. it is so frustrating. i hope everything gets better soon. i need and seek some sort of stability and i have not found it yet.

i feel like i keep a lot of stuff to myself, i am pretty sure i still do though. at work, i always get asked these questions...let's just say many. it does challenge me. however is this the challenge i need. i answer them in a silly way cause i think i need to be silly to stay sane. i hope i get a raise. i need it. well, i need something.

i have so much more to say, but right now too many multi-thoughts are processing that i need to pause it.