somewhere in between - lifehouse

so it's late, i really should go to sleep, but i am just not there yet. soon though, i feel it. i have exams coming up again. it's a never ending ordeal. I am just glad I have gone over all this material. it's a matter of going all over my review preparation. i am quite proud of it. anyways, that is what i will doing tomorrow. Going over some fantastic histology. and then some clinic stuff. oh what fun.

so now that i am living at home, i live another life as i was before. I never really noticed the change until now. I am no longer working. I am back at school. I study all the time with my 8 classes keeping me on my toes. There is always something for me to do and I am never at that point where I have nothing to do. I try to get ahead or at least be on top of things. I think I am doing pretty well. I really need to work on radiology though. i feel like i need to try harder in that class. so next exam, i am going to ACE that sucker.

My dad lately keeps giving me these little speeches and i really just laugh them off. another thing, now that i am back living at home, my parents are setting rules. I mean really, I think i am old enough to make my own decisions. And really, I know what is right and wrong. I am not stupid. I have a lot of common sense and it's like if they don't see that then they really don't understand or know me at all. they alawys harp on other people, when in reality are they really much better?

I am trying to be a better person and not judge cause i see everyone doing it everysay and its sad. Maybe that's why I am so reserved and keep thoughts to myself. I don't want to offend anyone and I don't want to pass judgement on them. Another thing i realize, I never really though I was a push over, but in restrospect, I am. I am going to try and change that.

on another note, the bonfire I threw was successful. so i am happy about that. it's getting cold, I better do try and sleep.

in closing, moving back home has shed some light on how i use to see things and how i see them now. for example, when I was off on my own, what I thought I wanted isn't what I want anymore? So then I think, was it timing or the influences around me? I think its what i am witnessing now, it is shedding new light on what I assume ignored before, but now i see why i questioned it in the begining. So perhaps a gut instinct is always right. or is it? to answer, i think it nothing is ever set in stone. life is all about change and evolving. slowly, the caterpillars becomes the butterfly.