gummi bears. i need to work out today. maybe, hahaha. round and round I go. I was studying, and all of a sudden, I wanted french fries. will i curb my hunger for it tomorrow. mostly, NO. Booo...what to do this weekend. It's a good break. I think I am going to get those profolios out of the way, YES! I get out early Friday, so i hope to be productive. Also, I am excited cause I am going to the mission farmer's market, and get me some garlic potatoes, I can't wait!!!!! Anybody want to come with me? Yum yum!

:(

DRAINED!!!!!! i am so tired of everything right now. it's never ending and i feel like i am drowning. there's always so much to do and not enough time to do it all. i feel like i am falling behind. today is such a sad depressing day. i just want to crawl under a rock and hide. or run away. i need to climb one of those big mountains and just scream.

i had a perio exam today and it was so tricky. i hate tricky questions. it's like it's IT or NOT. who cares about the frills. I mean really. ROAR!!!!!!!! one question had like 20 subquestions. that's not cool. I am pissed off! AHHHHHHH!!!!!! and now i have yet another exam to study for and that's going to be tricky too. ROARRRR!!!! stop creating these wrinkles. they are NOT flattering. i am going to destress. i am going to take my typhadont apart. hope it doesn't stress me out. hahaha....i should do it after i study. oh well. let's test my knowledge.

i wanna go to mammoth, or lake tahoe. somewhere fun. someone save me and take me to a far away land, where i can vast in the snow and drink hot cocoa.

i am awake again from my nap and behind schedule. so i better brush up, it's so me. when i have exams i just want to sleep. when i have nothing, i am wired for hours. alas, it's just one of those uncontrollable things. can't wait till friday. then i can relax and start studying for radiology. mark my words, i will conquer you.

is it the grape juice, or is it me. i'd like to think it's the grape juice. or was it the beans from my dinner. that quickly though. that's one fast action going on the GI tract.

i've done it again. i just ate and now i am all tired. ready for a nap. i am laying slightly in bed. but i need to study. my side ache though, so is it fatness setting in or is it just aches and pain. let's hope for the 2nd. i think i need a massage. ouchie!

maybe it's the cold weather too setting in with the rain and all. i guess a little cushion would help. no......must think disneyland.

i am kinda sad. i am getting old. i've hit the quart-life. then i think, have i accomplished what i wanted to? then i think, i should just live it up and not think about it. but that's impossible. oh well, perhaps, i am in my minute of solitude. okay, it's over, time to be happy again. maybe it's cause i have to wake up earlier tomorrow. or maybe it is something else. i probably just need to buy myself something pretty to band aid it. okay, more on these thoughts later on. time to sleep, have an early tomorrow. too bad i have clinic, hope it is productive.

i am pretty exhausted and just really tired of studying. but why can't i stop looking over my notes. one last run through, and another round tomorrow. gosh, i am hungry. i must resist. well, maybe some hot water. that might make me sleepy though. i am such a baby sometimes.

oh i hope i ace my exams tomorrow. the never ending cycle. i can't wait until winter break, better yet, no, i was going to say thanksgiving, but then i realized that i will probably be studying.

oh yeah, so to relieve stress, i try to take a day off and just relax. blah....i am going to chill, ROAR, no i must study.....what is it with my self battles. ROAR! this is why i don't like test. they were made to cause wrinkles and make us age more. because sure you prep for it and over prepare and well, it pays off i guess when you're like, that wasn't so bad.

and what's up with me using the word "LIKE"? it must be cause i am back at home and surrounded by morons. my professor made an anecdote about it in class. he was saying as he was walking around campus, he over heard a girl talking on the phone saying "and he liked called me." He was saying well, he didn't like call you, he did call you. out whole class busted out laughing. i don't think, or at least hope i don't use it like that.

okay, enough blabber and jib-jab.

onward and beyond.

i am cold, and i have this killer headache. please go away so i can study. i am so exhausted. i guess. after tomorrow i can relax again. i am happy about that. just need to get through tonight. then it start again next week. can't wait till wednesday.

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman 90% Supergirl 80% Wonder Woman 80% Green Lantern 75% Batman 70% Spider-Man 65% Hulk 60% Robin 55% The Flash 55% Iron Man 55% Catwoman 40%

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

somewhere in between - lifehouse

so it's late, i really should go to sleep, but i am just not there yet. soon though, i feel it. i have exams coming up again. it's a never ending ordeal. I am just glad I have gone over all this material. it's a matter of going all over my review preparation. i am quite proud of it. anyways, that is what i will doing tomorrow. Going over some fantastic histology. and then some clinic stuff. oh what fun.

so now that i am living at home, i live another life as i was before. I never really noticed the change until now. I am no longer working. I am back at school. I study all the time with my 8 classes keeping me on my toes. There is always something for me to do and I am never at that point where I have nothing to do. I try to get ahead or at least be on top of things. I think I am doing pretty well. I really need to work on radiology though. i feel like i need to try harder in that class. so next exam, i am going to ACE that sucker.

My dad lately keeps giving me these little speeches and i really just laugh them off. another thing, now that i am back living at home, my parents are setting rules. I mean really, I think i am old enough to make my own decisions. And really, I know what is right and wrong. I am not stupid. I have a lot of common sense and it's like if they don't see that then they really don't understand or know me at all. they alawys harp on other people, when in reality are they really much better?

I am trying to be a better person and not judge cause i see everyone doing it everysay and its sad. Maybe that's why I am so reserved and keep thoughts to myself. I don't want to offend anyone and I don't want to pass judgement on them. Another thing i realize, I never really though I was a push over, but in restrospect, I am. I am going to try and change that.

on another note, the bonfire I threw was successful. so i am happy about that. it's getting cold, I better do try and sleep.

in closing, moving back home has shed some light on how i use to see things and how i see them now. for example, when I was off on my own, what I thought I wanted isn't what I want anymore? So then I think, was it timing or the influences around me? I think its what i am witnessing now, it is shedding new light on what I assume ignored before, but now i see why i questioned it in the begining. So perhaps a gut instinct is always right. or is it? to answer, i think it nothing is ever set in stone. life is all about change and evolving. slowly, the caterpillars becomes the butterfly.

this is going to be a long blog. so bear with me. the past two weeks have been pretty crazy. i been stressed. but now that all ends. at least that specific kind of stress. so i had my probing comp today and i did good. i am glad because i had to put up and work with an unfortunate person. she really was incompetant and didn't come prepared and ready to work. on top of that she didn't manage time wisely and was just really not performing like someone who is suppose to be giving it their all. i will say she got better over time, but still there is a lot of improvement that could be worked on. She really upsets me because i felt like she was using me. and there was absolutely no professionalism on her behalf. She lacks confidence and really just needs to know her stuff. or just fake it until you make it. you gotta show that you know it. or else, you won't get anywhere in life.

in addition, i felt like she put me in many situations that could have been avoided. it is a rule that you don't work without a faculty member present, she insisted that it was okay. putting me in that situation was wrong. because she can screw me over by being a complicated patient. so i felt like i had to do what she wanted or else. so she is very unethical. another thing she doesn't manage her time to get her work done. she claims we did not learn it, but i did, and i was in class and so were you, so did you just not listen or something.

For reals, you better get your act together, and shape up. it's unfair for you to ask me what questions were on the test, it is not fair to everyone else who took the exam where they were suppose to. so whatelse?

she threatened me that if i didn't help her out on her probing, she would be complicated in my exam. that is not right. i really don't know what i should do about her. i have to take the same classes with her for the next two years. i better just keep my mouth shut. maybe she'll get her act together, if not, i am sorry for the next person that has to be her partner.

all i can say is that i am glad, i am done working with her. now i can loose this pulsating vein on my neck. the rest of the week is going to be great. time to do homework and start stuying for exams.

last thing, she was like, can you come early so i can practice? i didn't have class until 1 that day, so i was like, fine i'll meet you at 11. and there was no faculty member present. and she was like, i will go for you if you need me too. she did not and she flaked. F-her. lastly, infection-free environment is the utmost important thing. she was like, we can use the same set up for you. I was like F-no!!!! I don't want your stinky disease ass germs. Hell no am i sitting on that chair that you residued over. you've got some bacterial infection and i don't want any of that. so i told her, NO! you do that and YOU'LL FAIL. I am even skeptical about sitting in the chair she set up.

okay, enough of that. comments?

Thank you!

i can't stand incompetency! i mean get your act together. if you can't perform, then maybe you should try harder. i will not put up with this crap. my time is valuable and if you don't prep, then screw you. i am not going to let your negative aura affect me. if you don't have confidence, then grow some balls.