my confession.....my head is aching, it happens when i study something in a short amount of time. you'd think i learn the first time around, but no. i'm 23 and i wish my life was already paved out for me. i wish i had studied more when i was in college. isn't funny how life turns out. i want to take the easy way out like everyone else. i want to go back to school, yet i don't. i wish i had taken a different path in life. but at the same time i am grateful for what i have now. life is so confusing and i just realized that you have to accept it for what it is. rather than always thinking what if? cause if you live like that then you aren't living.

i would like to go to dental school, but i just hate all the waiting. i should be happy because i have a job, but i am NEVER satisfied. i am always wanting more. I seek for something better once i obtain what i have. so does that mean i will never be happy because one i have achieved my goal i become sad. that is until i come up with a new goal. that just sounds depressing.

i applied for the food network gig, we'll see if anything comes off that. I wish i could just enjoy life. I wish i had studied more in school cause now i feel like i am suffering. I wish I was smarter and more motivated. I have goals in life but I feel like these goals are not acceptable to the standards I was raised in. Wouldn't it be great if we could just do what we love for a living?

maybe i should give up on television because living in a fantasy world is just depressing, but at the same time an escape. i wish i had read more when i was younger. ahhh....why did i have to be so rebellious. I feel as though there is no purpose in my life right now. okay so there is, but once again i feel like i am in a state of limbo. I just want to get out. i wish i had chosen a different more simple life for myself. but if you think about it, life is all about Trial and Error and trying again.

I could probably go on and on, but it is getting late and i should go to bed so that i can study some more tomorrow. i need a miracle. i need direction. i need to achieve my hidden goals.