Scrambling......


Okay, I am a bit jumbled right now. Stressing with another midterm coming up. I know I shouldn't worry too much about it, but still. So tonight I also start learning in my Kaplan class. I am worried that I won't like the class and get nothing from it. Worried if dentistry is really the thing for me, and if all this money is just going to waste. I just want to run around pulling my hair in a panic screaming, like in the cartoons.

My table is a mess, and even that stresses me. I need to have things neat and orderly in order to stay clam, but then again doesn't anyone? So that's what i will do after this.

I emailed the people from blogger asking them with my archives which are acting all funny. Like when you click on the (07/07/2002 - 07/13/2002) link it goes to page not found. anyways that's one thing that is bugging me.

Perhaps, I just need to relax, I am going into panic mode. Breathe Sheila, breathe. Okay, that was refreshing. Anyways, here's the thing, I think I am worrying too much about my future. What could be the cause of this?Hmmmm..... my psych class perhaps. The professor keeps emphasizing how we should really evaluate what our goals are, and now I am constantly contemplating just that. So the stress is on. For example, as much as I like my psych class, it also stresses me because it forces me to constantly think (that can't be good for anyone). You need to let your brain rest right. Neurologist might argue otherwise. So as I was saying, in class today, I was thinking, hmmm.....maybe I want to become a professor, or a therpaist. When I was younger, I wanted to become a psychiatrist. But then I changed my mind after talking to one (they had this carrer-program in my junior high where you go visit the profession of you interest). I was afraid that it would make me crazy. So I abandonned that idea. So it came up again to, but I concluded with the same conclusion as years before.

I could go on forever talking about psychology, but then I don't want to drop all this on you at once. Here are some issue that come to mind though....( thinking too fast...slow it down)...as children, when do we remember what it was like, meaning the memory of being a child, our childhood? They say the futher back you can remember that more intelligent you are. Something to talk about later.

Taking this class has made me realize that I really like psychology and has given me a new mission statement to write about this blog.

Lastly, I would like to tell you what really motivated me to write into this. I am going to free associate. So I wanted to see why people do so called online journals. Writing in this also relieves stress. Because everyone needs someone to talk to, it's in our nature. Talking to others allows us to expessive bottled up feelings. This blog is symbolic of that. I needed to relieve some stress, get something out of my chest, that was all bottled up. I needed to somehow re-evaluate what was going inside my head. And writing in this blog, does that for me. So you can say that is theraputic, a form of therapy. Anyways, writing in this also lets me express stuff that I wouldn't normally think or say.